A Truth About Me
Today the Lord had shown me something that I have been trying to hide away and never talk about or do anything about. One of my greatest fears in my life is that I will end up having the same weight problems that my father has had in his life. I know this is a typical thing that people deal with but I wanted to talk about something that people really are not just honest about. It is something that I struggle with. And I am not overly insecure about myself. But do I wish that I weighed a few pounds less of course. One thing that I have never really given over to God mainly because I have never really thought about it. I mean who really when they are giving things over to God say I need to give my health over to him. Now that I am on my third day of fasting God has shown me something that I needed to share.
So I am willing to stop eating for God, but I am not willing to eat healthy for the Lord. I am willing to constantly pray to the Lord about when I can eat and what I can eat, but I do not on a regular basis ask the Lord when I should eat. And lastly I am willing to for the lack of better words starve myself to teach myself discipline in life, but I am not willing to discipline myself with going to the gym or just working out on a daily basis. Today God has shown me this as small as it may seem, he has shown me this sin in my life. Now the big question remaining is what and I going to do about it?
As of right now I do not know. I am still praying about it but I do know something needs to change in my life style. I tell myself that I praise the Lord and I have given my life to the Lord but yet I haven’t given my health to him. In what world does that make sense? Also while I am thinking about it I wanted to say that I am sorry. To my friends, family, and last but not least, actually one of the most important people in my life my girlfriend I want to say that I am sorry. I am sorry for not taking better of myself over the last few years. I have allowed emotions and moods to overtake how I treat my body and for that I am sorry for not glorifying God with my body.
With all this said I am still not sure when the Lord is going to allow me to eat again. I know this sounds crazy that I just talked about my health and I am going to continue to fast but it is something the Lord had laid on my heart. So I will be obedient and honor the Lord with this time of fasting. I would encourage anyone reading this to pray not just any prayer but really take some time and listen. Yes just listen; I feel that this is something that we forget to do today. We live in a world that is always go, go, go and there is never a time when we truly sit in quiet and just listen to the voice of the Lord. This is the challenge I give, because I have really experienced that when listening God will speak and reveal things that are in your life that need to be worked on. So a warning to the people saying I want God to change me, beware that this step is not easy. It will hurt and it is not going to be fun. Letting go of the selfishness that is inside of all of use is something that just seems so unnatural. It is something that must be done in order to pursue God with everything that you have with your life.
Let us truly seek the Lords face and not be afraid of the things we have to do or give up. Live your life for God, and give him all the praise and glory for everything. I leave you again with a passage of scripture:
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.” (Romans 12:1–8, ESV)
Pursue God run after Him, and never look back to what seems to be things you are giving up. Love the Lord and dedicate your life to Him.