MyWeaknessGodsGrace

What is your focus? This is the question I have asked myself every time I have even thought about fasting. I have never wanted to fast just to say that I am fasting look at me. But for some reason this time was different. Like everyone else I have sin in my life some are more present than others. But lately God has been revealing what is in my heart to me. Let me tell you, you think that being convicted of normal sin hurts and is difficult to overcome wait until God shows you the condition of your heart. This has been an eye opening experience and it has humbled me greatly. God has shown me that I am in leadership by his doing not my own. Because he has shown me that if he didn’t want me where I was that there are plenty of reasons for me to not be here. So I start this off by saying that God alone is the reason I am where I am, and I am doing what I am doing.

So yesterday I finally responded to something that God has been calling me too for a long time. Until he revealed my heart to me I came up with excuses and reason why I should not fast. And yes this is the time God has called me to. This is my interpretation of what God has been saying to me, “Jonathan you need more discipline in your life. You are allowing other things to come before me; you are prideful, stubborn, and selfish. You will are going to do a fast from food.” I say, “okay I will do it Lord, how long?” God responds, “Until I say you can eat again. You must learn to live by my bread alone before you are able to eat physical bread again.”

So after this dialogue with God I started, and the first day was not that bad. I mean I have done day fasts before and they are pretty easy. It is really just getting food out of your mind that is the key. But the next morning, your stomach hurts a little, your head may be pounding and you are drained. And that is the start to my day. But I am looking to turn this frown upside down. But how?

Do you ever wonder why you ask some of the questions you do. I do all the time, and it is always on the questions that I can answer right after I ask them. But that is off topic back to the story. I knew last night that I needed to really focus my heart and soul on the Lord and be constantly connected with him in order to do this. So I wanted to wake up around 7:45am-8:00am. So like always I set my alarm for 7:45am and 8:00am. But I wake up this morning at 9:15am, way to start the day off. You’re hungry, you’re tired, and you are just drained, and to top it off you do not get the time to spend with the Lord before your day starts. What a way to start the day. But it will get better, because the Lord showed me something already today.

I was at convocation this morning, and for those who do not know this the University I attend, has “chapel” if you will every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This morning the speaker was talking about disciplined prayer life. So instantly I was hit in the shoulder by God, saying listen this is something you need to hear. The sermon was good and I really did learn. But something I never thought about was why fast, what is the point. And I am still working that out. But I do know that I need to be more disciplined in my time of fasting. Funny I know that discipline is something God is trying to teach me and I realize I need to learn it. So that is something I am learning. I need to be more purposeful with my time, and the things I fill my time with. Because,

“If there are other desires in your life that are set above God, then how are you going to seek God with all your heart, mind, and soul with other desires in your life that are above what you say is your greatest?”

I would like to end with this passage of scripture that has really been on my heart these last few days.

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:14–21, ESV)